I don't know why I'm writing this at all, dont feel as though you should read it its just for my own venting sake, maybe its just some attempt to get to converse with people outside of my own home. I'm just so sick of being bored... being at home... sick of life in general.

That's not to say I'm feeling excessively depressed at the moment, its not so at all. I'm feeling very, balanced I guess, not good not bad *shrug*
I guess I'm just craving human interaction, well human interaction of the non idiotic or excessively creepy kind. About 90% of the interaction I've been getting in the past year or so has been that. Then there's a part of me that doesn't want to bother with people at all, there isn't anything to stress over that way. No worrying about appearances, feeling stupid, dealing with stupidity, and best of all no worrying about betrayal of any kind. The word betrayal doesn't really fit that though... more like finding out that the person or people you've trusted and believed in turns out to be a stupid bastard just like everyone else. It makes me want to just sit at home with my animals (not that I have much choice).

And I seem to be getting a little bit better as of late, my doc has me on some stuff that's helping. My serotonin level is now measurable at least (it hasn't been for lets see... the four or five months I've been going to him) My thyroid is getting more stable. But there's still a lot to go, all the pills I'm taking are making me feel sick just having to take them... our stomachs are not meant to handle over hmm about 60 pills a day. And my new sleeping pills ARE making me sleep well... but I'm sleeping off and on all day after my good 8 hours because I'm drowsy. Well at least i seem to be on the right road. And someday soon I might actually have to face social situations again, the hordes of humans around this world. Many who annoy me to no end...

But then again I do miss just hanging around with people, I think its a basic need for most humans. And there are good people out there, there just really hard to find. Well hard to find or I'm just too picky *shrug*